I'm not complaining

Ice Dancing, and Other Questionable Olympic Sports

I find myself yelling at the TV as I watch the olympic winter games. I understand that they are the Olympic GAMES, and not the Olympic SPORTS, but I’d really like to take a look at the criteria that makes or breaks an activity from being Olympic.

Ice Dancing was the first to leap out of the TV (but not jump and spin out) and say, “Hey, I’m questionable if only because it’s hard to justify my existence in the face of couples figure skating.” The arguments FOR the sport include synchronized swimming and figure skating, but these fail to address how much it sucks. At least there were a bunch of falls this year.

Next up was the Biathlon. I’m sure many people have the problems with this “sport,” but I LOVE IT. At first I was taken aback, but after a short time, I was 100% on board, rooting for people and yelling at the screen. It’s the classic recipe for success: Take something boring (cross country skiing), add something of slight interest (competition in the form of a race), and then sprinkle with GUNS, and you’ve got a party! In reality, though. It must be really hard to shoot a gun accurately after skiing several miles. When I run, I can barely drink a glass of water without spilling, let alone fire a rifle at a tiny target 5 times.

Now Ski-Cross was new this year and should be removed before 2014. There is a ramp, and then a left turn. So whoever starts farthest left and lands the ramp, wins. There is no opportunity to speed up, pass, or have excitement. In the whole day of racing there was ONE mid-race pass and he fell a moment later. Horribly boring. Speed skating has the same trap, but skaters can sprint and pass on the outside or inside, position themselves in a curve or on the straightaways. Ski-cross is just a boring race, like a matchbox car track.

Curling? That DEFINES the winter games. How much more classic can you get with ice and competition? Ski-cross needs to take a page out of Curling’s book.